FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Randomize
