yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
