dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
