next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize