i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
