Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
