You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Even the bartender felt bad for me
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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