i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
