my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize