dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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