I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
