Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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