Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
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