Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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