In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
