It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
