how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
