Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
