i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
