im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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