Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I have already put on my inside pants.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
