just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
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