3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
