All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
