I want to have your abortion
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
