All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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