I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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