if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Randomize
