we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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