sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
