Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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