But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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