the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
