i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
