She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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