I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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