I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
This toilet bowl is my home.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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