There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
