dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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