Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize