WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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