i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Bring me that man meat
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
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