While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
