Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
