I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize
