he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
