that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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