Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
