Porn is love you can see.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Randomize
