Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
