Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
