His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Randomize
