Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
