I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
