You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize