Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
