I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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