Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(810): View more from Michigan

I'm laying in your front yard are you home

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(214): View more from Texas

Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.

(214): View more from Texas

If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"

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(650): View more from California

This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"

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(703): View more from Virginia

I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order

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(518): View more from New York

I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny

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(315): View more from New York

she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot

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(734): View more from Michigan

I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?

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(205): View more from Alabama

She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?

(256): View more from Alabama

You're a true patriot.

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(513): View more from Ohio

Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.

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