I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Randomize
