Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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