Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(318): View more from Louisiana

He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."

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(248): View more from Michigan

Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar

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(352): View more from Florida

My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.

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(604): View more from British Columbia

This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on

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(760): View more from California

Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.

(818): View more from California

Because it is cat.

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(973): View more from New Jersey

Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.

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(778): View more from British Columbia

I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend

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(555): View more from

The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34

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