She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
i drank out of a bidet.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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