tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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