I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
