I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
