Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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