How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
