don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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