Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
