It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
