it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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