Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
