I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I CAN MOONWALK!
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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