I feel like abortions should bother me more
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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