i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
my nose is crying tears of wow.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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