Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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