whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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