508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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